Change! No Excuses

Stop rehearsing the past, embrace the future and think differently. For many it's a stretch.

By Rene Godefroy

Most people will never get what they want because they are too rigid and too stuck in their past. As I travel the length and breadth of this great nation keynoting conferences, I have the unique opportunity to meet thousands of people. Some occupy very high level positions and others are still climbing from the bottom of the ladder. But they all have one thing in common.

Just as I struggled to survive poverty and disease in a tiny Haitian village, they, too, are struggling to survive change. Change is constantly disrupting their lives. What's remarkable is that through the struggles, many have managed to thrive in times of change. Yet others are frustrated and stressed.

We all have heard that life is a struggle. That's true. But it doesn't have to be an eternal struggle for you. Struggling with anything implies fighting with it and expecting to win. I've got news for you: If you are struggling with change, hoping to make it go away, you may be living an elusive life. You will be just like the earlier species that never survived the changing climate conditions.

The days when we had layers of underlings ready for our beckoning are fading forever. Now we can moan, groan and pout about it all we want. It's our right, and we have the freedom to exercise that right. But my advice to you is this: Learn to accept change, deal with it and make peace with it. There's no other way around dealing with change.

Now, wouldn't it be nice to have a magic formula or a recipe to not only stop the whirlwind of change but also to accept it with grace? Would you be interested in such a formula? We all would. That's exactly what I want to share with you here. It's the secret that will liberate you to never struggle again when it comes to dealing with change.

The best part is that it doesn't cost anything. You don't have to put your life on hold in order to apply the secret. Well, it's not really a secret. But I have come to realize that the key ingredients to success are recognizable and available to us every day. Yet millions are still looking for them in hard-to-find places. That's why the so-called self-help gurus call what's been practiced for thousands of years “secrets.”

Besides, people pay attention to secrets. It seems as though our basic assumption tells us that if it's simple and known by everyone, it must not be life transforming. Thus we are constantly on a quest to find the next best solutions to deal with change or other pressing issues. The reality is the secret is already buried inside of us. And so, here's one you might be aware of...

Stop Rehearsing the Past
When I first came to America, I was a broke and desperate 21-year-old guy unable to speak English. I couldn't get a job anywhere. Talk about change. Although I had my share of struggles as a diseased and starving kid in Haiti, nothing prepared me to deal with all the tumultuous changes I had to deal with upon reaching the Land of Opportunity.

There were many embarrassing moments and rejections. My Mount Everest in America was learning how to speak English. Many people assumed I was not intelligent because of my language barrier. Many times I would bury my face in a pillow and cry. I wondered if I would ever be able to adjust. But you know what? Unlike the early species that didn't survive new climate conditions, human beings can adjust.

I went to look for a job at McDonald's and the supervisor turned me down. You would think I wanted to flip burgers. No, I just needed a job like picking up trash in the parking lot. I thought to myself, “How much English do the trash cans in America speak?” Still, I was rejected. I was hurt and disappointed. Now my being turned down is not a reflection on the McDonald's Corporation. It was the act of a single individual who perhaps needed some kind of sensitivity training.

After that incident, I did what most people often do. I began to replay that disappointment in my head. It's kind of like the salesperson who gets a rejection. Instead of making the next call, he or she sits down and replays that rejection forever. Fortunately, I did realize what I was doing. And so, I nipped it in the bud. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. After all, I knew I was living in a country of plenty, a country where opportunities abound.

During my first few years in America, I saw people on national television talk shows making excuses for being a failure. I heard a lady say, “What do you expect? I am a middle child. I didn't get enough attention.” I cringed. I don't believe anyone should give up in life because he or she didn't get enough attention as a child, or because his or her father was an abusive alcoholic. Of course, it may have some psychological impact, but it doesn't have to be an excuse for failure.

If you really knew the details of my past, I am certain you would forgive me if I had given up. I know you would. But I didn't. And that's exactly why I know our past doesn't determine our future. Even past successes can cause us to fail to plan for the changes that are on the horizon. There are many companies and people who have had incredible successes in the past, yet they fail miserably.

When I say stop replaying the past, I am talking about the past hurts, mistakes, missed opportunities and yes, even what other people have said about you. But more important, I am referring to the old ways of thinking and doing things. We must be flexible and think differently.

Dealing with Change Requires a New Mindset
When I arrived in this country, I had to reinvent myself. To this day, I don't let past successes or failures blind me from future opportunities. I am constantly reinventing myself. I am very well aware that anything that remains the same is in a state of decay. You see, we can't reach for the future while we are hugging the past. We can't serve two destinies. It's one or the other. It makes no sense reminiscing about the way things used to be. The truth is we can talk about it until we turn blue in the face, but nothing will change the current circumstances if we don't choose a positive approach.

Resisting change causes unnecessary stresses. Fighting change is a losing battle. If you think about it, outside disrupters are the norm. While you coast and reminisce about the past, some change agents—probably your competition—are thinking about ways to obliterate you. And I mean local and global competition.

Perhaps you are thinking about making a move because things are changing too much for you where you are. Maybe the grass is greener on the other side. If you even think that way, it's time for a new mindset or a shift in thinking. Trust me, I get to speak to thousands within diverse industries, and the complaints are the same everywhere. We are expected to do more with less. This is the new paradigm of global change.

I will be direct. I am asking you to stop reliving the past, embrace the future and think differently. For many, it's a stretch. It's more comfortable to mentally live in the past and hope things will get back to normal. However, it's a do or die situation. There's no other way.

Albert Einstein said, “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” If I had continued to relive the first seven years in America, I would still be a janitor at 163rd Mall in Miami, being a doorman, washing cars on the street, digging holes, or loading boxes in the back of an 18-wheeler. Simply put, I would still be struggling.

So I am encouraging you to get unstuck in the past and dare to accept the changes that are happening around you. Choose to actively participate in your destiny. Once you do so, you will notice incredible opportunities that will change your life forever. You will begin to bloom into a bouquet of positive energy and influence. Suddenly, you will become a part of the solution instead of the problem. You will have less stress. More important, you will become indispensable and your challenges will become triumphs!

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The PEI Journal • Fourth Quarter 2007 • Volume 1, No. 4 • Contents are Copyright © Data Key Communications, Inc.
All rights reserved. • Nothing may be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.